Found
by Trinityangel
Summary: Little scenes between Minako and Kunzite after Lost and Found. An (ongoing) epilogue of sorts.
1. Chapter 1

Minako knew she had a gift. It was something she didn't mention too often, because frankly, this sort of thing would probably creep people out, and she was perfectly happy keeping her creep factor down. Deep down, she knew her girls had probably already figured it out, or remembered, or whatever, but she knew if they had a problem with it, they would probably say something.

Probably.

Most of them didn't linger too long in passive aggressive, except Rei on occasion, gods love her. But Rei she could deal with, and did on a regular basis, far too regularly for her to have not said something if she was particularly annoyed.

Kahlil on the other hand was a completely different story. She knew him enough to know that what he was feeling was unhealthy, she also knew him enough to know that it had to do with her. She could tell because he wouldn't look at her. That and the idiot man seemed to forget when they dreamed their worst dreams, they appeared to be shared. When he took off an hour ago, he wouldn't meet her eyes. In fact, he did everything in his power to avoid her, which didn't even give her a chance to fix things. That was if she even could, but she guessed she could.

This empathy thing was new, but not, maybe it was something she was newly aware of. No, that wasn't right, she knew she could feel the feelings of those around her, but lately it felt like she could exert some control over it. That was to say she didn't want to force people to feel things that they didn't, but if she could help them feel better…maybe just lighten the load. Or in Kahlil's case, take it. If only he would come back.

Sighing, Mina sat up in his dark bedroom and blew a strand of hair from her face. If only he would talk to her about his dreams. If only he would talk about anything. But he didn't. He kept his heart tighter than he probably held his poker cards, which if word from the group was accurate, he was one hell of a poker player. But it didn't matter, he thought he was some fortress of silence, but he wasn't, at least, he wasn't supposed to be to her.

With another, more aggravated sigh, Mina glanced around, trying to ignore the obnoxious orange glow from the clock. It didn't matter what time it was, she was going to deal with this. Period.

He was in for a real surprise if he'd forgotten what it was like to love her, because love was a two way street. Kahlil wasn't the only one capable of carrying burdens and maybe it was time to remind him. His lover was no wilting damsel and the sooner she brought that to his attention, the better.

* * *

When Kahlil could finally breathe again, he wasn't exactly sure where he was. His earbuds were in, but there was no music playing. The only sounds that had accompanied him were the steady sound of his feet slapping the pavement, a sharp staccato against the deep unsteady rhythm of his heart. Pulling out the silent headphones, he came to a complete stop, giving his body the reprieve it was screaming for.

If only he could have attributed it all to the run.

Instead it was the sound of her scream that had set his heart off into an uneven gallop. It was all so easy, so goddamned clear in retrospect. How could he have done that and dear gods how could he get all of this fucking blood off of his hands?

His hands forced their way into his hair and if he could have ripped each individual strand out as a counter pain to the agony in his chest he would have left all of it there on the sidewalk of wherever the hell he was. Unfortunately it wasn't that easy, it never was. Hair pulling only gave him a headache, and a headache was the worst company of heartache. He'd been smart enough to learn that a few hangovers ago.

It didn't help that he'd managed to wake Mina up with his desperate need to get out. He couldn't even meet her eyes. Those baby blues that he'd seen such pain in, pain that been mercilessly administered from his own vicious hand. It scared him, terrified him half to death of what he had been capable of, and left him sleepless to think that if he _had_ been capable of it, then it meant that he _could still_ be capable of it.

Kahlil's eyes burned at the thought that he could in all reality do this again. He could cause another round of burns and bruises to her perfect skin. He could still be a monster. A monster in disguise waiting to draw her blood to the surface.

 _NO!_

Throwing his head back, he tried to swallow the scream of rage the tried to rip its way from his throat. Wasn't the universe listening? He'd be good. He'd be good now for every moment that he couldn't then. His past was a bitter pill that he'd learned far too young to swallow. He would _not_ allow that bastard he was to leech into the man that he was. Kahlil was not Kunzite. He would be better. He _would be BETTER._

Letting out a harsh breath, Kahlil crouched to the ground and gnashed his teeth together, his hands fisted so tightly they started to tingle. It wasn't until the breeze carried what smelled like honeysuckle to him did he realize that he was shaking.

Honeysuckle smelled like Mina.

Looking up he realized he didn't notice the cyclist that stopped behind him. Her blonde hair was freshly braided, but otherwise she looked like she'd just rolled out of bed. She looked so young standing there holding his bike which was at least two sizes too big for her, dressed in a pair of well-worn flannel pants and one of his sweatshirts which was at least two sizes too big. Her face was free of makeup and if he knew her like he thought he did there was both tears and determination in her eyes.

Kahlil took a deep breath before he straightened and turned completely to face her, shoving down everything that was threatening to rip him apart. This was his darkness; it had no place near the light that was his Minako.

"Someone should get you a bell if you're going to be sneaking around like that," Kahlil's legs screamed in protest as he walked toward her.

"Kind of defeats the purpose if I'm sneaking around, doesn't it?" Her lips quirked into an empty smile.

Who were they? This could not be who they were even hours before.

"How did you find me?" Kahlil found he was genuinely curious.

"Does it matter?" He perked a brow at her response which earned him an eye roll. "I microchipped you." Kahlil's eyes narrowed a fraction. "I don't get this. You're the one that takes off in the middle of the fucking night and _I_ get the third degree?"

"Minako—" Mina slashed her hand through the air sharply.

"No," She interrupted. "No you don't. You don't get control of this so just fucking deal. I can always-"

Realizing her voice was raising, she sighed and grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the cover of a nearby closed shop front. "I can _always_ find you, Kahlil. You could probably find me if you wanted to and knew how. Just like I can _feel_ you and you can feel me. Just like I can see your dreams—"

Kahlil looked away, or at least he started to until Mina's hand forcefully pushed his chin back so he faced her.

"No. _No,_ " She hissed. "You do not get to demand all of me and then give me pieces of you when it's convenient to you."

"That is _not—"_

" _That is exactly what you are doing._ That's what it _feels_ like you're doing to me." Mina blindly found his hand and pressed it firmly to her breast.

Kahlil could have sworn he felt an echo of pain ricochet through his heart, but that couldn't be possible…could it?

"Mina, I can't—"

"No, Kahlil, you _choose_ not to."

Silence. The silence echoed so loud Kahlil though his eardrums would burst. He wasn't sure how much time passed before Mina heaved an angry sigh and dropped his hand as she turned away.

"Whatever…"

He was losing her. Kahlil knew it down to his bones. This was the moment, _his_ moment. She had had her moment with him. The moment where he demanded everything and if she wasn't ready for that, then he would have walked. Maybe she was right. Maybe he wasn't playing by his own rules. If he lost her this time it would be his own damn fault… _again._ That word was such a haunting refrain.

"I can't—" Mina paused at his halted words, but she didn't look back. Now or never. "I can't hurt you again, Mina."

"You're hurting me now."

The words were probably more powerful than she knew. Or maybe she knew. Maybe, as most of the world did, he had underestimated her. Behind all that beauty Mina was as dangerous off the battlefield as he was on it, maybe even more so. With a shudder, the wall he fought so hard to keep between her and his issues came crashing down around him.

"You don't _understand_ , " Kahlil shoved his hands roughly back into his already disheveled hair and let out a frustrated moan. "I can't. I feel…I feel like it's all right there, right fucking there. This darkness. This endless darkness and I can't, Minako, I can't. All it takes is one step and I'll be right back in it. Right back in all of it. I'm a fucking hairsbreadth away from being _that man again._ "

Kahlil wasn't sure if the words made any sense, but now that he'd started, the words would not be stopped.

"There's so much blood Minako, so much goddamn blood on me and too much of it is yours, and I can't. I _CAN'T. I can't let it have you._ I've caused so much fucking pain and I can't. I never seem to see it coming, or when I do it's too late and I can't. I can't do this again."

It wasn't until he felt his body come to an abrupt stop at the touch of her hand on his face did he realize he'd been pacing. Slowly, ever so slowly, almost as if she was afraid he'd bolt, Minako moved in front of him, her eyes never leaving his, her hand never leaving his face.

"Breathe, Kahlil." For a second he wasn't sure that he could. It was as though he were frozen in…could have it been in fear?

"I'm terrified, Minako."

"I know."

And suddenly he could breathe. It was as though acknowledging his fear released something in him and the panic, the pain, the guilt he held was being absorbed, pulled from him and away. He wasn't sure where it was going, but it was going _away._

"Just breathe and hear me out," Mina stepped closer and brought her other hand to his heart. "When you asked me to let you love me, I expected the same of you. I understand you are not perfect and that there are parts of you that you do not understand. None of us are perfect, so kindly remove me from whatever pedestal I'm on and just let me love you. I need your love far more than I need to be protected from you. I want all of it Kahlil: the good, bad, blood covered and otherwise. I want the you of now, and the you of before. I want it all and will settle for nothing less. I will carry every burden you've ever had if only you'd let me."

The silence that followed her impassioned words was not nearly so heavy. In fact, it wasn't heavy at all. With each deep breath, Kahlil found his thoughts clearing a little more until everything didn't seem quite so complicated.

"Kahlil?"

"Yes."

As if he would deny her anything, including the bruised pieces of his heart. Wordlessly, he walked to his bike, released the kickstand and began to walk in the direction of home. With a soft smile, Mina easily fell into step beside him.

"Your timing is lame, you know that?" The words were teasing, but the tone was affectionate.

"Mm, what time is it?"

"Like two."

"Because you picked the middle of the day to come to me."

"Touché, sir, touché." Mina sighed and reached out to wrap an arm around his bicep, amused at his obvious sarcasm. "I have to go home soon, I'm out of clothes."

"Seriously?" Kahlil looked down incredulously. "You've already got half of my closet."

"It's not what I want to wear today. And I can't find any clean underwear."

"You could do laundry."

"Or I could bring more over."

"You could just bring them all over."

A pull on his arm let him know that Mina had stopped walking and was looking up at him suspiciously.

"Did you just do what I think you did?"

"Is that a yes?"

While she didn't respond with words, Kahlil figured having the breath kissed from him was answer enough.


	2. Chapter 2

"So…moving in together? _"_

Silence wrapped around them as their previous conversation came to an awkward and abrupt end. It was clear Junichi had _meant_ to change the topic, and really, all of the men at the table knew that if any of them wasn't going to take the bait, it was Kahlil.

Those watching would know his silence was as much a response as anything else that he verbally threw back across the table. However, those that knew him very well would see the way his right middle finger tapped twice against his eyebrow and the corner of his folded financial section was pushed back just enough for him to meet Jun's eyes and offer the slightest twitch of the brow. The warning was clear.

"I mean really. _Yikes._ She's…she's a bit of a…I mean, don't get me wrong," Jun leaned forward hoping to express the genuineness he felt. Afterall, what kind of friend would he be if he didn't point out a problem when he saw it? Mamoru just cringed. Kahlil set his newspaper down and returned the gesture, leaning forward with his eyes as flat as concrete. This time the warning was crystal clear. It had to have been, as this wasn't the first time they'd met up in this particular coffee shop, with the purpose being to catch up, so clearly, this wasn't the first landmine that Junichi had danced around. If he was smart, he'd stop stomping on them. "She's just…she's a mess man."

The collective hiss that came from Mamoru, Nicholas and Zephyr signaled that the landmine was triggered.

"Really now?"

"Yeah, I mean, I feel like—"

"Stop Jun." Mamoru's request was soft, but the other man gave pause.

"No, please, _do go on,"_ Kahlil's request was an invitation edged with the most seductive poison: curiosity. Of course it was mostly feigned, but there was a part of Kahlil that wondered, was there something he didn't already know? They'd been together for a little over two months by this point and living together for the most interesting forty-eight hours that Kahlil could remember. Interesting because he wasn't sure he had the words for the mix of elation and mild annoyance that he was feeling. After all, he hadn't had a roommate since college. It wasn't enough to bother him, but it was enough to want to hear what Jun had to say.

"No, it's true. I mean, you haven't been around her much—"

" _Gods, Jun._ Would a little _tact_ kill you sometimes?" Zephyr righted the glass he'd knocked over accidentally at Junichi's abrupt words, and began to mop up the spilled coffee.

"No, stop, seriously, we all know it. This is not a secret. Mina's a fucking mess."

" _Careful…"_ Kahlil's low reply was matched by Mamoru's sharp one.

"It's not that, though, that's the obvious part. There's something…something else. Every now and then I'll catch her looking at something and he gaze, it's razor sharp, but…jagged."

Truly curious, Kahlil leaned back on two legs of his chair and perked a brow. "Go on."

"It's that she's sharp…" Jun narrowed his eyes and bit down on his lip, obviously searching for another word.

"She's dangerous." Kahlil's gaze swung to Nicholas' flat interjection. "Glare all you want, she's dangerous."

"If we're being honest, they're all dangerous."

"She's different," Nic finished the last of his coffee and started in on Jun's neglected cup.

"Seriously? So you're all going to sit here and tell me that she's more dangerous than the others?"

Mamoru let out a sigh.

"You too, huh?" Kahlil sent a look toward Mamoru.

"She is… _unique._ "

"Pretty sure yours has the highest kill rates since we're being honest."

"That's different!" Mamoru was quick to jump to Usagi's defense, but also threw his hands up in surrender. This wasn't a conversation he really wanted to be having on a Sunday afternoon. "Usa is sweet as sugar and you know it. She only did what she had to because she _had_ to."

"Interesting." Kahlil let his chair drop with an audible thud.

"So what you're all trying to tell me is that Minako is dangerous…" Pulling a few bills from his pocket, Kahlil tossed them to the table. "Seems fitting then, doesn't it?"

Tucking his newspaper under his arm, Kahlil stood and strode from the café and into the mid-day sunshine with not a single look back at the slightly confused faces he left behind.

Dangerous, huh? Funny. As if they all had forgotten the blood on their hands.

For a moment, Kahlil let the sunlight blind him, allowing the warmth, color and brilliance to remind him of his earth bound goddess before dropping his sunglasses from the top of his head. Pulling out his cellphone he shot off a text letting her know he was on his way home.

It was mostly interesting how after knowing her for years now, his men still didn't know what to make of his Minako. Though she wasn't a foe, they still felt her to be a threat. Obviously not to the other girls, but then to what? To Mamoru? Was this something lingering from their past lives? Perhaps an unrealized sense of ease from the woman that saw entirely too much to leave those around her comfortable, let alone not in pure awe.

They may never understand. If Minako had her way, they probably wouldn't.

At that thought, another part of him secretly smiled a selfish little smile. They clearly didn't know what she hid behind her mask, instead seeing only what wanted them to see, clever woman. Which meant that there were still parts of her that would belong only to _him_. Any lingering annoyance he felt at having her in his space melted away and Kahlil's little inner smile stole outward until he could feel the corners of his mouth curling.

Wasn't it obvious?

So they thought she was dangerous?

Good.

So was he.


	3. Chapter 3

"Tell me a secret," Her fingertips brushed along the bridge of his nose. The touch was so light, so faint that were this another time, and another place he would have blamed it on his overactive imagination conjuring her whenever and wherever it wanted.

"I have no secrets from you."

"Liar." Kahlil laughed and reached up to capture her fingertip and brought it between his lips. "No, no. You don't get to distract me from my que— _oh_ , no. _Kahlil_." Pulling her finger from his mouth she pressed the entire palm to his face and pushed, hard. He caught her hand and ended her resistance with a twist, or at least he thought he would until she pressed a finger to a pressure point in his neck.

"Ow!"

"You earned that. Don't even try it. You started to get violent so you can't get mad when I get violent back." Her harrumph punctuated her snotty statement and only made him want to toss her beneath him and reminder her that she wasn't _always_ in charge, but Mina had other plans.

"So? Secret. Tell me something no one else knows."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know you as no one else does." Kahlil arched an eyebrow and brought her palm to his lips.

"You already do."

"Do I?" Her thumb brushed the tip of his nose before she let out a small sigh. "Do I really?"

Minako's eyes dipped down and for a second she looked so sad, it was all he could do to not gather her into his chest and kiss a smile back onto his face.

"What side of the bed do I sleep on? What do I order when we get Chinese? What are my sisters' names?"

"Whatever side has the most vulnerable exit, weirdo. Spring rolls and Mongolian chicken. Rahma and Leila."

"Mina how can you say you don't know me?"

"Tell me something else, _please._ "

"Minako, Agapi," Reaching out, he cupped her face in both palms and pushed her mussed hair behind her ears. For a moment Kahlil simply pressed his forehead to hers. She probably thought he was thinking, but he wasn't. Wordlessly he was offering a prayer of thanks to any and every higher being that was listening for sending him this woman. "I wasn't sure how I was going to explain everything to someone who wasn't you."

Pulling back Mina's cerulean eyes deepened to a color that Kahlil would have sworn only existed in the Mediterranean Sea near twilight.

"I don't understand."

"I have done so many things I am not proud of. There is a darkness that lingers around me if only for my past transgressions waiting, watching eagerly for just the right second to pull me back from where I've crawled from. I have searched for you in any incarnation my soul has ever held; If only to lie beside you in life or death. There will never be another woman I will love as I loved you a thousand years ago, as I love you now. Whomever I found I would do anything for, but she would never have my whole heart, nor would she ever know me as you know me. You are my light, my future, my past. Another woman would only be a shadow of that, and who wants to live as a shadow? I wasn't sure I would always be alone, but I wasn't sure what I would have done if I wasn't with you."

"And nothing says romantic like 'hey, I'm still in love with someone else who most definitely isn't you'. Ask me how I know."

The silence that blanketed them was heavy but by no means uncomfortable. The minutes ticked away as Minako and Kahlil wrapped their own reality around them tightly, the rest of the world be damned.

When Mina reciprocated in turn, it was unprompted, unprovoked and uncertain.

"Kahlil, I don't—I don't know if I could choose," When Mina's eyes found his they were distressed. "I don't know that I could be her. I mean I don't know if I had to choose between you and—and…" Her whisper faded out and Minako pressed her forehead back to his.

"You could, Pia, and you would."

"What if I didn't want to? For once what if I chose you?"

"To hear you say it, is enough."

"Is it? I guess it has to be, doesn't it?"

"For us? Always."

"Guess I shouldn't waste any more time worrying about it, huh?"

"Probably not, no."

"Well then gee, what am I going to do with the rest of this naked Sunday?" Her smile was sudden and infectious.

"Mina, that's one of the dumbest questions I've ever heard."

Her wild kiss was the only agreement offered.


	4. Chapter 4

_Many years earlier..._

"Are you being weird again?"

Rahma winced at the heat as she left the cool of their home to join her older brother on the lawn. The sun was setting and painting the world the same colors that their mother liked her clothes to be. It was like the sky was made of one big purple and pink jewel, which suited Rahma, because those were her favorite colors.

"How can you even sit out here?" She huffed as she landed in a heap of gangly limbs beside him. Kahlil didn't reply and the silence stretched on until it was nearly as unbearable as the heat. Frowning, she started to say something but stopped as she turned to look at her older brother. He looked…like an adult. There was something about her brother that was her brother, but wasn't. How could he be only one grade ahead of her but look so old? She'd known him all her life, but he looked so _different._ A frown creased her brow and for a second she felt a little scared. Where was her brother? Her heart stuttered as she reached out to touch his white hair turned pink from the sunset.

"Kahlil? Come back…"

It was finally his sister's frightened whisper that brought him back to Earth.

"I'm here Rahmi."

"Where do you go Kahlil?"

"What are you talking about?" Kahlil tried to smile, but knew it didn't reach his eyes.

"You've done this for as long as I can remember, Kahl. Sometimes you go somewhere…I'm afraid you won't come back."

"Rahmi…"

"Where do you go? Don't lie and say nowhere because you've done this for as long as I can remember. _Where do you go, Brother Mine?_ "

Kahlil sighed and pulled his still too long legs to his chest. Should he tell her? She wouldn't understand…the dreams of the girl with the blue eyes, the pull to leave home and search for her, the ache in his chest he couldn't understand and the waiting…

"Do you feel like there's something out there, Rahmi?"

 _I hear you…_

"No, not really." Rahma loved home, she loved the desert winds, the beautiful sunsets, her parents, their neighbors and if she was being honest, even the heat."

"I do," Kahlil's words were just above a whisper. "And it calls to me. Sometimes it whispers, and sometimes it screams. There's somewhere I'm supposed to be…I just don't know where. Sometimes I feel like I can almost remember, and then it's gone. It's always just out of reach, Rahmi."

 _So close…the memories are so close._

"You're leaving home?"

"What?" Hearing his sister's sadness he reached over and ruffled her dark tresses, so different from his own white strands. "Not now, Silly. And even if I do, you'll always be able to find me. I'll never be lost."

"Good. Now come inside, Ommy is looking for you. I think she wants you to move some boxes for her." Rahma stood and yawned before leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her brother's head.

"Yeah, alright."

 _I know you're out there._

Kahlil let out a sigh and glanced back at the setting sun.

"Wait for me…"


	5. Chapter 5

_Wait for me…._

"Kahlil?" The sound of his front door opening wasn't strange. All of the Shitennou had keys to his apartment. In fact, from the moment they'd found one another, if they weren't living together, then they definitely had access to all of the homes. It'd taken them some time to figure everything out…or more precicely, to figure themselves out. It wasn't easy realizing that who you were now, wasn't who you were, while who you were then, wasn't the sum of your parts. But they were getting better as a whole, which meant as parts they must not be doing too bad. Kahlil's nightmares were now only occasional visitors and it didn't affect him so much during his waking hours.

And tonight…tonight he'd introduce himself as the man he was today.

"Mm?" Kahlil looked up from where he was straightening his tie to see Mamoru looking at him with something strange in his eyes. Instantly, Kahlil was on high alert.

Something was wrong.

"Usako wanted to talk to you, do you have a few minutes?"

"I—"

"Hi Kahlil…" This wasn't the first time that Kahlil had met Usagi in this life, but ther was something different about her energy. It was…it was almost sad.

"Hello Rabbit. Why are you—"

"Can we talk for a few minutes?" Feeling trapped in his own apartment, Kahlil took a deep breath and nodded.

"Of course, Usagi."

"You know you can call me Usa, Kahlil," Her smile was sweet if not still a little sad.

"I'll get there, Usagi," He gave her a wink as she sat down at his dining room table. She looked at the chair next to her until Mamoru sat down. For a moment Kahlil felt something like deja-vu, but that wasn't right, this wasn't something in the past he was seeing…maybe something in the future? He shook his head to clear it and offered a half smile.

"Why do you two look like you're about to tell me someone—Is she hurt?" Kahlil shot up from where he'd been leaning against the breakfast bar. "She's not—"

"NO!" Usagi's hands flew up and she shook her head vehemently. "No, no, Mina's fine. It's just that…."

"Usagi," Kahlil frowned and felt his hands fist against his jeans. "Just tell me."

"I wanted to do it sooner…I meant to, Kahlil." Usagi looked down and began to wring her hands, looking more like the twenty something woman than the alien princess she used to be. "We didn't know that you would…that this was how things would play out…"

"Usagi…Usa…" Realizing that his body language wasn't helping him, Kahlil walked to Usagi's right and pulled out another chair. "Usa, please just tell me. Start at the beginning."

Her voice was soft as she started, and though he couldn't see the tears in her downturned eyes, they were as clear as ever.

"She asked to forget. Mina…she was alone for a while before she found us, but she had all her memories. I mean she always had all of her memories, but after the last battlewithyoushestarted…she started to struggle. Alcohol and going out mostly. Like, she just didn't deal with anything. She was flighty, but she'd always been a little flighty, but this was different. She wasn't sleeping, she wasn't eating, she started smoking and lived off of diet soda and cigarettes."

Kahlil frowned. He'd seen Minako from a far and she'd seemed fine…He arched a brow at the doctor in the room, but he only had eyes for Usagi.

"Kahlil, we didn't understand, but she was fading right in front of us. Wasting away. We finally confronted her and she told us what we already knew, that she wasn't sleeping, but what we didn't know was, Kahlil, she was broken. She didn't tell us everything, but by then we'd started to remember bits of it. We thought that maybe something had happened between the two of you in the Silver Millennium, but it wasn't until well, later that I understood the depth of it all."

"Usagi, what did she do?" Kahlil was nearly startled by the sound of his own voice. It was low….dangerous… So much so, that Usagi looked up with tear stricken eyes and for a moment looked frightened. Then something changed. Something hardened in her and had he not been so caught up in his own tumultuous emotions, he would have known right then that the woman in front of him was a force to be reckoned with.

"She asked to forget."

"To forget _what?"_

"You."

Time stopped. Time came to a complete and utter stop. Kahlil felt the world shift beneath his feet and his vision faded around the edges until nothing was in focus. All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears and the steady agonizing beat of his own heart. As if leaking from some unseen hole, the world was rather quickly becoming devoid of color. This wasn't gray, it was more than gray, deeper, darker and endless. Like a mirage before a man in the desert, he felt all hope of the life that he'd dreamt of, hope and prayed for slipping away...until there was only the gray left behind.

When he came back to Mamoru was on his left while Usagi, still in her seat, was holding onto his hand.

"Kahlil?...Are you okay?…"

Kahlil blinked slowly and focused on her thumb rubbing across his knuckles. She wanted to forget him? The one thing that he used as his north star wanted nothing to do with him. She didn't even want to remember him. Torn between absolute rage and utter heartbreak, Kahlil tried to swallow, but his mouth had turned to cotton.

"I'm sorry."

So was he. So goddamn sorry.

And she'd never know.

"We didn't know that this was how things would play out. I should have considering everything." The regret in Usagi's voice was palpable, some of her tears landing on his numb hand. "I thought everything would right itself, but she's …she's engaged."

The knife in his heart twisted and any dreams he had left went up in a plume of smoke that was as colorless as his world.

"Kahlil? Kahlil…say something, please?" Usagi's broken voice tried to pull at him, but Kahlil was gone leaving behind a husk of gray. "I'm _so_ sorry, Kahlil!"

Mamoru gave his arm a squeeze and slowly Kahlil turned his head.

"Are-" Something in Kahlil's face must have changed, because Mamoru's question remained unspoken. "We'll show ourselves out."

Thankful that Mamoru understood his silent plea, Kahlil turned to watch the twilight sky wondering just what he was supposed to do now that _everything he'd hoped for_ was gone.

"Kahlil you can still come tonight…" Usagi wiped her face and reached back for his hand, but Mamoru pulled her back against his chest.

In the blink of an eye, life had thrown a hand at him that he couldn't play. This existence had become...bleak...And it hurt.

"Mamo, we don't have to-"

He'd never felt so alone.

"But we can't just…"

He'd never felt so empty.

"I'm sorry, Kahlil..."

He'd never felt so lost.


	6. Chapter 6

** _Please note the rating change**_

Kahlil watched Minako sleep with a frown. Interestingly enough, he'd scolded her for doing the very same thing multiple times, but honestly, he could see the draw. There was something so peaceful about her when sleep was upon her. His Mina without the weight of the world behind her eyes, because she would never let them see it in her shoulders.

So he watched on.

* * *

 _Each night started like the last; him avoiding sleep and it eventually pulling him down into its endless depths. Nothing but darkness awaited him here._

 _Each night he prayed for peace._

 _It never came._

* * *

It was better to watch her when she dreamt. He would confess the corners of her mouth would quirk up if it was a good dream. If it was a dream about him, he would swear there was a bit of a glow to her skin. But when she was remembering, whether it be him, or her fellow Senshi, friend or foe the symbol of Venus was visible on her forehead.

Tonight she was remembering.

* * *

 _Some nights he wanted nothing more than to forget, but then he remembered….He remembered the loneliness, the endless searching, the complete and utter lack of purpose._

 _This was his burden to bear, his punishment for a past he should have controlled._

 _So be it._

* * *

Beneath the symbol of Venus, the skin on her face had a slight sheen of sweat and that pretty mouth of hers was pulled into a frown.

Sometimes the memories were good, far too often, they were not.

Tonight was the latter.

* * *

 _His scream echoed back to him, bouncing off of his pitifully blank walls. Every muscle in his body was clenched tight and his throat ached, indicating that this probably wasn't his first cry, nor would it be the last. His sheets were soaked and now that he'd stopped sweating the cool air made the temperature feel degrees lower than what he knew it was._

 _It was all par for the course._

 _Sleep was the enemy and no matter how much he tried to avoid it, eventually it would lull him under only to send him shooting into consciousness with the grace of glass against the pavement. Day after day, sleep was a prison with bars made of ghosts of his mistakes._

 _This was his own personal hell. Knowing what he'd done, hearing her scream, watching her blood cover his hands just as his covered hers. Guilt ate at the marrow of his bones until it was a vice around his chest restricting his already shallow breaths._

 _If only he could stay awake, but the dark circles under his eyes that stared back at him every morning mocked that fancy. He was his own worst enemy and from that there was no escape._

 _The tears that fell from his eyes were gentle._

 _The nightmares that followed were not._

* * *

Minako awoke with a heart wrenching yell and caught his wrist as he reached out for her. She gave a sharp twist and he winced but held his other hand up in surrender. There was something feral in the gold eyes that stared at him. It took a few seconds, but she came back and quickly released his arm throwing herself at him in something so needy, so desperate, that it broke his heart.

Minako's lips found his and her kiss was as wild as her eyes had been. He met her pace for pace, knowing what she needed before she'd even asked.

His hands found her waist and pulled her over him as she shed her sweat soaked tank top. Kahlil bit down on her lip until she let out a harsh cry and ground her hips down against his. Gathering her mane of hair, he twisted it around his fist and pulled her head back until he could devour her neck. The feeling of her nails piercing his back confirmed that this would not be gentle. She didn't want to be coaxed free from the memories of this dream; she wanted them scraped from her, replacing the emotional pain with something bigger, something deeper, something better.

He could do this for her.

Pushing his hands into her panties, he found her wet and waiting for him. A part of him felt bad, as though maybe they should talk about this more, use their words, but under her skin and bones, she was Venusian to the core. She spoke with her body, and she needed with all of her heart. This ache would never be soothed by sweet words and soft reassurances. As though catching his thoughts, Mina paused at pulling his cotton pants down and pulled back enough to meet his eyes with a look that was more gold than blue.

Her kiss was scalding as she lowered herself onto him. Kahlil hissed and threw his head back, catching her hips as she started a rhythm that was as punishing as it was ecstasy. Tonight she needed the control and he was more than willing to oblige.

"Please Kahlil, please baby, _please."_ At her request he caught her hand and slipped it between them, encouraging her to take what she needed.

Knowing she would find her pleasure with ease, he fisted his hand in her hair and swallowed her cry of release. It didn't take more than her pleasure to push him over the edge into waiting oblivion and as he bit down on her shoulder, and knew she'd be sporting the evidence of this night in the morning.

He also knew she would love him all the more for it.

She called it grounding.

He called it an arrest waiting to happen, but she just laughed.

When he pushed her mussed hair from her eyes, tonight he found no laughter, only a past that wouldn't be forgotten again.

"It gets better, Mina. I promise, it will—" Minako's swollen lips brushed over his in the first appearance of tenderness.

"It already has."


	7. Chapter 7

It was raining. Of course it was raining, because gods forbid it be sunny on a day like this. Kahlil would have called Nic or Mamoru, but his phone was dead. Dead in the middle of an argum—

No , it was a misundersta—

Ah fuck it. Since her last text was calling him an insensitive asshole, it was an argument. A duck was a duck was an insensitive asshole of a duck, but a duck none the less. Kahlil knew he didn't come across well in text. This had been told to him over and over by friends and now non friends alike. He should have paused the conversation, asked to meet her somewhere and finished things in person, but he hadn't, because he'd been getting his ear chewed off at work for being exactly what Minako was calling him.

 _"_ _Do you even hear yourself?"_ She'd asked him and he could feel the hurt in her digital words. Of course he did, he just didn't always hear what _others_ heard.

Kahlil sighed and blew out a heavy breath. How had he fucked everything up? Had things with her always been this hard? But was it hard or was it just not easy? Was there a difference?

"Another one?"

When it left an ache in the middle of his chest this bad, he figured there was.

"Yeah..I guess." The almost empty glass shifted back and forth between his fingers like it had a mind of its own before slipping and letting the last bit of alcohol pour onto the bar.

Figures.

"Fuck, sorry man." The bartender was already cleaning it up with a towel even as it soaked into Kahlil's sleeve.

Fucking figures. The dark amber whiskey would probably stain.

Too cold. Too harsh. Too silent. His many faults piled up and rewound before repeating again through his head. A mantra he couldn't escape. Too this, too that. Not enough warmth, not enough smiles, not enough charisma.

And fuck his chest hurt. Pressing the heel of his hand over his heart he tried to catalog just what this feeling was, because clearly, everyone knew he wasn't in touch enough with his feelings, or so they thought.

What they didn't know was he felt everything. Every single fucking thing. Every opportunity missed because he wasn't enough. Every disappointment because he couldn't just be…be something that wasn't him. Every regret, every disappointment, every wish that he would be something…something that he wasn't in this life or the last.

Pulling his hand from his chest he pinched the bridge of his nose and felt his other hand fist under the bar. Why couldn't they see him?

"Here you go man, did you want me to—" The bartender's words drifted into silence.

Did anyone fucking see him?

"Just put it on my tab—"

"Actually, I've got this one. Will you give me a Jameson double too? Thanks." The reason for the bartender's silence slid onto the stool next to him, her hand coming to rest next to his arm; so close but so far. It made Kahlil nervous and there was nothing he hated more than being nervous.

"Sunshine." Her voice was soft, meant only for his ears. He tried to pick out something other than the warmth that was typical Minako. But he didn't want typical Minako, he wanted _his_ Minako.

" _Sunshine…"_ Her breath was warm against his ear. Kahlil looked up into those cornflower blue eyes expecting anger, but found nothing but a smile.

"Hi." His greeting was soft.

"Hi baby. Why are you drinking alone?" Mina leaned in and rested her forehead against his shoulder. "You never have to drink alone, you know."

"My phone is dead, and I couldn't remember your cellphone number to call an' apologize." Were his words becoming slurred? Shit. How much had he had to drink?

"It's okay." She took a sip of her drink and let out a sigh of pleasure. "Mmm, booze."

Kahlil looked back to his new drink and the stain on his shirt.

"I'm sorry."

"Water under the bridge, Sunshine. I was kind of a bitch earlier. It all didn't have to do with you."

"No..okay..maybe." Kahlil cringed and knew he'd had enough, but he was already bringing the glass to his lips. Thankfully she was laughing.

"Finish up. I'm hungry and these shoes are killing me." Mina tossed back her whiskey and glanced over to where Kahlil was watching her with eyes that were still a bit too vulnerable for her liking. Leaning in, she pressed her nose to his and felt the muscles of his jaw relax.

"I'm sorry, too," she whispered. "Sometimes I forget what I have. What _we_ have. I feel like I'm still catching up and things pass me by before I realize what they were. I know you weren't being insensitive, I read into what you said without applying the one variable that matters more than anything: _you._ I'm sorry, Kahlil. Be patient with me, I'm still learning this…I'm still relearning _us._ "

Her lips were smoky with whiskey and sweet with something that was all Minako. It was heady and more intoxicating than the alcohol in his vein, but more than her taste, it was her final words that left a sense of peace replacing the ache in his chest.

"I see you, baby."

Finally.


	8. Chapter 8

With a slight frown Kahlil opened his eyes.

Was that the smell of something cooking?

Where the hell was he? Because if he was here, and here was home, then there was absolutely no reason why he should be smelling cooking food.

It wasn't a secret that Minako didn't cook. In fact, he had been warned of this fact multiple times by not only his friends but hers. If he remembered correctly, when it'd come up last, Rei had laughed hysterically and managed out that it would be the surest sign of the coming apocalypse if Minako was in the kitchen and something wasn't on fire.

A physical scuffle may have ensued, but the way Makato shot him a serious look left him taking it seriously. Which meant that something was off, because those were sounds of someone in his kitchen and his bed was empty so…shit.

How much did he have to drink last night?

Had someone come over? Why couldn't he remember?

Shit.

With a groan, Kahlil shot a glance to the still curtained window and glared. It was later than he thought, but he definitely didn't want to be awake right now. His head was pounding and he was pretty sure one of contacts was trying to kill him. Snagging his sweats from the foot of the bed he managed to pull them on with about as much grace as Usagi trying to dance in heels after one too many rounds.

And it was silly of him, but he did peek out the curtains, you know, just to make sure the world wasn't in the process of ending and no one had bothered to give him a heads up.

Twisting his platinum hair up into a bun, he pushed the bedroom door open with a hip and paused. The scent of breakfast was scintillating to his suddenly grumbling stomach.

"I'm pretty sure you don't even make that face in bed," Minako snorted and went back to staring at what he guessed was a pan on the stove. Shuffling further from the bedroom to the kitchen he couldn't help the smile on his face at the sight of the fluffy golden brown pancakes stacked next to the stove.

"Mina wha—"

"Wait. Just give me a second." And if it was possible, she got even more adorable. So he waited, patiently propped up against the edge of the counter, arms crossed over his bare chest as Minako, wielder of a chain sharp as razor blades and keeper of the Sword of Luna, struggled with a spatula.

"Got it. Okay, so, hey." Kahlil only arched a brow in response.

"You are so damn cute when you're doubting me." Minako's oceanic gaze flicked away from the stove for only a second before she was back to supervising the cooking batter. "Seriously, you guys are all assholes. I _can_ cook. I simply _choose not to._ "

Slowly, the other eyebrow arched.

"Oh shut up. Do you want breakfast or not? Keep this shit up and I'm definitely going to burn the bacon."

Kahlil only shook his head and reached for a shirt that per her usual routine was covered with one of his button downs.

"No!" Minako literally slipped right through his fingertips. "You do that and all of this-" She motioned with her spatula, "Is so done for."

After a brief but intense stare down commenced, only to be punctuated by a flash of tongue and Mina turning back to her cooking.

"Honestly, I just don't have the attention span."

"For what? Life?" He dodged the towel that came sailing at his head.

"Funny. No, breakfast. Everything needs your full attention, I can't even text or I swear I'll burn something and you'll never let me live this down."

Kahlil simply smiled and walked over to stand next to her at the stove.

"Thanks for breakfast."

"On top of being the Goddess of Love _, she cooks_. You have no idea how good you've got it."

Leaning down, Kahlil pressed a kiss to her temple.

He knew.


	9. Chapter 9

"So?"

"So what?"

"Don't ' _so what'_ me of all people Minako," Usagi pulled her sunglasses down and shot Mina a look that was about as close to irritated as she could manage. It didn't help that she broke into a sunny smile only seconds later. "Honestly…"

"Usa, stop beating around the eggs and just tell me what you want to know."

"Bush, Mina, bush."

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, Rei? _Honestly…_ "

"Stop stalling and just spill, okay? We've all been waiting for you to go on about gushing so we can get on with our lives."

"Really?" Mina adjusted her own sunglasses and shifted a little…uncomfortably? Was she actually uncomfortable? These were her sisters. She could tell them anything and usually told them everything, but a part of her, a tiny, ridiculously selfish part of her wanted to keep this magic to herself. She'd found something epic and was it so wrong that she didn't want to share? "Well it's great, really great."

The silence filled with nothing but the sound of the ocean lapping at the shore and the infrequent calls of the gulls.

"That is _not_ it." Makoto sat up and shot Mina an accusing look. "You drilled me until I spilled secrets I wouldn't even say in my dreams and that's all we get?!"

"I did not!"

"I believe you did because you did the same thing with me," Ami lowered her book and…Gods, were her eyes narrowed?

Minako sighed and realized that maybe her need for juicy details from her friends was currently taking a chunk out of her backside. "Okay, okay…maybe I did."

"So why so quiet, Mina?"

"I don't know…I guess I just…I just want this to be mine…"

There was a short beat of silence before the girls all broke in to laughter and began throwing various object in Minako's direction.

"Oi! Assholes that hurt!" She cried throwing the shoe that hit her back the way it came, but the riotous laughter just continued. "Was that a piece of ham you just threw?! Usagi gross!"

"Oh, so now she's quiet! Must mean it's that good!"

"Maybe he's sworn her to silence."

"Bullshit! Mina can't hold water, never mind secrets. " Rei shouted and fell over into the sand clutching her sides. "She's been screwed speechless?! Minako?! Never!"

"Oh my God, Rei, stop!" Mina could feel the blush rising from her chest and painting her cheeks, which only irritated her more. "You guys are jerks. Ami, come on. _Come ON."_

"You _tormented me_ Minako. Remember the romance novels you gave me for Christmas to give me the _vocabulary I needed?"_

"That was a perfectly reasonable gift!"

"It was _not!"_ Ami managed through her laughter before she threw the novel she was reading in Mina's direction.

"Okay, okay, stop. Fine, what do you want me to say? The sex is amazing, he's amazing, I don't even know what to do, I just—"

"Mina, Mina," Usagi reached out and put her hand on Mina's knees. "You're fine. You're beet red, but you're fine. You don't have to tell us anything."

"Speak for yourself!" Makoto tossed an arm over Mina's shoulders. "I want to know every sordid detail…"

"Mako!"

"She tormented me too, Usa. Shut it! Mina something, you have to give us something."

Minako looked around at all the expectant faces and felt her mood shift. They were right, she had tormented them for information, mostly so she could get a finger on their feelings and make sure that everything was as it could be, but from the outside, it probably felt like the inquisition. Sighing, she pushed her sunglasses up into her hair and sat forward.

"It hurts." The silence that followed let Mina know that she had their attention with that. "It hurts how much I love him. It aches in the middle of my chest like something…familiar, something tight, something that lets go only when I'm with him. And then he looks at me and it just…it echoes somewhere deep. And even though it hurts, it hurts so right. Like that first swallow of water after you've run so hard that your throat hurts. It hurts so _good_."

"AWWWWW!" All four girls chorused which only made Minako grow redder.

"You guys are such assholes," huffing she pulled her sunglasses down but couldn't hide her smile.


	10. Chapter 10

What is love?

It was a question that had plagued Minako for most of this life. Not the last. No, in the last life she knew exactly what love was; knew the kiss of its delicate touch, knew the pull of its magnetic forces and could oh so eloquently pull it into words of every and all languages she spoke.

But now…sitting in the middle of the music in one nameless club after another, an eighteen year old Minako couldn't find it. She felt it, sure as she could breathe, or did she? Oh how she envied her sisters with their earthly elements. The ability to simply submerge below the depths into what it was that made them live and breathe was frustratingly out of Minako's reach. Which was why she was here, underage and illegally drinking with the hopes of numbing the edges of all this feeling. Or overloading on it. Either way, it would get better.

The music began to control her heartbeat and closing her eyes, she tried to lose herself in the loose thread threatening to become her very noose. It was a razor's edge upon which she danced on, delicate but dangerous all the same. The alcohol in her veins amplified everything that she could almost feel, could almost touch.

It was so close.

It was…

What was it?

 _Wait for me…_

The sharpness that followed that last thought had her smiling her sweetest and reaching out, grabbing the next man she saw around the wrist. He was…frustratingly _not it_ , but considering what _it_ was was completely and utterly gone, Minako didn't have a choice. What she could find was what she would take, and though this man was none the wiser, take she did. It was a Band-Aid to an artery, a drop of water on the surface of the ever burning sun, but it was something.

Until it wasn't.

From partner to partner she bounced accepting drink after drink until the edges of her vision was a blur and the inside of her mouth was numb. This wasn't the first time she left with a stranger and it wouldn't be the last. Whether there was sex or not, it was just enough…

Until it wasn't.

But that day wasn't today.

 _Wait for me…_

This wasn't love, but the feeling would suffice.

Until it wouldn't.


	11. Chapter 11

Consciousness was calling.

Slowly, Kahlil surfaced and stretched to realize his bed was not as empty as he found it the night before. Business trips were always the worst. His body seemed to take an awful pleasure of reminding him that he was practically allergic to changing time zones. Reaching over, he pulled his glasses from the nightstand and squinted groggily at the blonde who was propped up against the headboard next to him, sipping what smelled like some kind of holiday tea.

"Morning Sunshine," She glanced over with a smile before looking back to the wall of windows that bordered his bedroom.

"What time is it?"

"Unofficially: Christmas morn', but officially somewhere around 4:20."

"Too early. And you are awake why?"

"I just got here maybe an hour ago." Which explained why she was still dressed, but it didn't explain why she was _here._

"I'm not supposed to pick you up for another," Another squint was aimed in the direction of his glowing cellphone. "Seven hours in someone's time zone. Fuck if I know which one."

Mina gave a soft laugh and pulled her long legs under her.

"Casual swearing, I approve. I'm clearly having an influence for the better."

"Mina, why aren't you still in England?"

"I wanted to be here more. So here I am."

Frowning Kahlil pulled his glasses off and with the flick of his wrist, flung them in the direction of the table he'd found them on, cringing when he heard them hit the floor. It was way too early.

"Went that well?"

"My mother and I are never going to be more than an epic implosion waiting to happen." Setting her tea down she turned to face him, and did…something. Frowning at why he thought tossing his glasses was a good idea, Kahlil sighed and fished them off the floor.

"Are you smiling? I feel like you're smiling in that way that makes me nervous." Mina's sharp bark of laughter told him all he needed to know.

"She still has no idea how you deal with my shit, because really, pan calling the kettle all _kinds_ of colors."

"…nope…"

"Nevermind. Anyway, now I can give you your gift."

"Do I need pants? Or glasses…I guess…"

"What?" Delighted laughter followed her as she found his hands and pulled them to her. "No, not at all, in fact…never mind, just sit up."

With a fortifying breath, Kahlil sat up and let Mina pull his hands into hers.

"I haven't done this in a while, so blare with me."

"Nope." Laughing his hands fell to his lap.

"Whatever. Put your glasses away, you won't need them." When he complied she held out her hands again. "Hands Kahlil, and focus."

"On what?"

"Me."

At that exact moment something sparked through him in what was both thrillingly unknown and terribly familiar. Though he couldn't see exactly what she was doing, he felt her hands on the backs of his and they were warming.

"Mina…"

" _Trust me_." And he did, without question.

Her hands became warmer and though he couldn't see her lips clearly, they were moving. Just as he was about to ask another question, something within in, deep within him, surfaced. It was an alarming feeling to feel something be turned inside out so abruptly and it nearly shocked him into pulling away, but Mina's delighted laughter stopped him. As did the warm light between them, and gods above and beyond, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Mina…?" His question was breathy in its awe as he attempted to process the brilliance between them. Her hands left his, but the light remained. "What is…?"

"Us. Kahlil, this is _us_." Her joy was nearly as resplendent as the light before him. "This is…this is what I feel from you, what I feel for you. This is our love."

"How did you..?"

"Old Venusian magic. Like, real old. I'm rusty, but I wanted you to see, to feel this." Mina gave a wistful sigh and with a gentle push of a finger, set the ball of light into a slow spin. "On Venus, it was possible to infuse this into glass and it was given as a gift, usually worn as jewelry. It allowed the entire world to see you were loved."

"Is this what you see, in others?"

"Eh, sometimes. Sometimes not. It's hard to explain, but the feelings, because they're ours, I can amplify it, sort of. I can show you. You can touch it, Kahlil. In fact, you _have_ to touch it."

"Will it…will I break it?" He was hesitant to mar this amazing thing with his hands because, it was really…really beyond words. The center was a crimson so deep , Kahlil imagined its likeness could only be blood pumped straight from the heart. The edges though, the edges reminded him of his desert sun without the need to look away. It made him nostalgic for things he couldn't quite remember.

"Nah. C'mere." She caught one of his hands and pressed his index finger forward. "Take a deep breath, and I promise I won't let go. I have to buffer it a little."

"Mina, wait, what—" And then his hand found the light's surface. It wasn't visible, but it was there, and then it wasn't. The light turned viscous until it started to engulf his hand, moving upward toward his arm, the end game clearly his chest. Mouth agape, Kahlil would have been terrified were it not for Mina's hand over his and the completely, utterly, discomposing feeling of being _overwhelmingly loved._ It was visceral, but it was intangible. Every moment that he felt his chest tighten to the point of breaking for the woman before him was turned on its head as he felt, truly felt the raw desperation that was her love for him. Every glance, every kiss, every time they made love, it was every single moment that they had behind them and still to come. She was his gravity and he that which she orbited around as though the two could co-exist, but did, with perfect unpracticed harmony. It was a shot straight to the heart and then with the fading warmth of a sunset, it faded until he could breathe again.

Kahlil didn't realize he'd closed his eyes until he felt them open again and found Mina kneeling on the mattress before him, smiling in slightly blurry contentedness, her hands on the bare skin over his stuttering heart. She was right, he didn't need to see this, it was something to be felt. And, oh did he feel it.

He had to have her.

Had to feel her.

Had to love her, as if there was every any other choice.

He gathered her to him, catching the breath from her lips like a diver coming up for air. Pushing her shirt up, Kahlil desperately sought skin with a madness that was akin to the first time he was given the gift that was her. His thumbs sunk into the skin above her pelvis, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough.

"Kahlil… _Kahlil…_ " Her voice called to him like from a dream, her hands catching his wrists until he felt like if he didn't move, he would…he would…

Minako's lips found his again and her kiss was his anchor in the storm. She was not gentle and the bite to his lower lip broke the spell. The madness receded enough to allow him to think, actually think.

"There you are, baby. Stay with me."

"I need you, Pia, I need you." Kahlil's hands found her hair and held on tighter than he probably should but she only smiled, pressing her thumb against his sore lower lip.

"I know. Stay with me, Habib Albi. I'm yours. Always yours. Only yours. Tariq, only yours. Focus on me."

Her words uncoiled something in him and Kahlil could feel his breathing steady even as he continued the process of pulling off each of her layers until all that was left was skin. The world thought he was unfeeling, but his secret, the secret that he trusted to her alone was he felt _everything._ Not just on the surface, but deeply in the places that only she could find.

With laser point focus, Kahlil anchored himself in her, allowing his lips to trail over every inch of her skin. _Twice._ His fingers found every desire point she may not have even known existed and he brought her to heights that were dizzying, always waiting to catch her. Always. When she tired of his worship, she turned the tables and made him remember that his body was her instrument and she played him a precision he'd never thought he'd know again. But it wasn't until he settled in the cradle of her hips and sunk home that the peace he'd sought settled into his bones calming the tempest that was his battered soul. There was no end to him and no clear beginning to her; they were an entity all itself as once again she seared her brand onto his heart.

"Mine," She whispered, her teeth marking his shoulder as he pulled her hips closer. Hooking her heels under his calves, Minako's smile was savage as she flipped their positions, riding him with more grace than she would have thought she could manage by now. For him, however, she could give a little more, always. His hands were bruising against her hips, but she never complained, secretly loved wearing every mark of their love on the outside as it was on the inside. Her very soul was a canvas to his every whim.

Watching her gold eyes lose focus, Kahlil pulled Mina down just in time to swallow her triumphant cry of release and echoed it with a cry of his own. So trapped in her pull, he locked his arms around her as she buried her face into his neck and for a few blissful seconds they let the world pass them by. How had he been gifted this magnificent creature, this goddess divine?

"Forgot how potent that stuff is," She finally whispered against his skin with a punch drunk giggle, her trembling limbs not willing to release their hold on him just yet

"You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?"

"You Terrans have always reacted in delightful ways to our magic."

"Naughty. I like it. We're doing _that_ again." Kahlil nodded into her shoulder and squeezed her tighter to his chest with his decree sounding every bit the arrogant man she loved.

It was another moment or two before Minako spoke again, thoughts random as startled birds. But this was who she was and Kahlil loved every second of it.

"You know someone told me I'd be, ' _hopeless in love for all eternity'?_ Well so much for that shit, I'm fucking crazy about you, you know that right?" Her laughter as brilliant as the morning sunshine.

"Mm…"

"And while we muddle through everything, don't ever question that. _Ever._ " Her whisper was as fierce as her gaze and for a moment he simply watched it, transfixed by the gold bleeding to blue. "That's my gift to you, to let you see what we have as I do."

And he knew, this was the moment. Even as Mina settled against his chest for what was certain to be a well-earned nap, he couldn't shake the feeling that there would be no more perfect moment than this.

Reaching into his night stand drawer, he pulled out the velvet box that had been there for months. It didn't matter that they hadn't been together nearly as long as any of their friends. It didn't matter that they'd only been living together for months. It didn't matter that everyone who didn't know them would see them as rash and impulsive, two things that he never was (but those that knew them would know this was millennia in the making). What mattered was this: he loved her and that would never change.

"Minako?" Kahlil started softly, brushing her hair back from her forehead. "I have something for you too."

"…Mm?"

"I made a mistake once. I thought, then as Kunzite, that we could not be together. I made the mistake of letting someone tell me what I felt wasn't love, that I was in love with the feeling of love. I was a foolish man. I let the world dictate who we would be but I won't do it wrong again. I don't care who we are, in what life, or what time. You and I, Mina, we're as right as my world is going to ever get, and I won't let anything get in the way of that again. You burn me until I think I'll be consumed and then I step from the flames a better man."

"Kahlil?" Mina tried to sit up but Kahlil held her tighter against his chest, pressing the velvet box into the empty hand that rested over his aching heart. "What's this, Kahlil?"

"Let me finish, Mina, please just let me finish. I'll understand if you think it's too soon, and if it is, I'll wait. But I won't make the same mistakes twice…well at least not more than twice. I-I just, I love you and—and—"

Exhaling sharply, Kahlil wanted to look down but was _afraid_. His heart was beating out staccato rhythm that he was sure Mina had picked up on by now. Perhaps this was why Kunzite never asked; being turned down by a woman was hard, to be turned down by a goddess must have been far too daunting of a task. For the first time since he understood who he was, Kahlil felt an inkling of sympathy for the general who was both foolish and brave enough to attempt to love a goddess. But that wasn't who he was anymore and fear would not be his master. Because that had been his mistake all along.

"And I don't have a plan, Mina, but I swear on everything, I'll get this right. _I'll get this right._ "

Kahlil hadn't just attempted to love a goddess, he'd succeeded.

"Will you have me, Minako? Please say you'll have me."

"Yes!" Mina's tearful laugh filled the room as Kahlil began to breathe again. "You idiot, of course."

Letting out a whoop of delight, that spoke more to his current homeland than to the reserved man he was in the past, Kahlil scooped Mina up to his chest and kissed the breath from her lips as he'd stolen her heart from her chest. He'd given her everything she'd never thought she'd have.

This was more than being found, it was home.

This was all she needed.

This was love.

* * *

 _*Love of my heart- Habib Albi_


End file.
